Thursday 6 February 2014

Torn Condoms and Torn Notes


No matter who you are, what you do, you have to face life problems all the time. But every problem, along with the drama it creates, gives rise to an opportunity. An idea. My inspiration to start writing this blog came out of a similar life problem... a slightly torn 10 rupee note!

It was a dark day in history. I started the day with an unsatisfying, incomplete shit. I knew the rest of the day was ruined. As it happens, there was no bread to toast for breakfast. I was starving along with my dog. At the grocery store, my life was to be changed forever. With some change, I acquired this slightly torn 10 rupee note. I didn’t take notice then, but slightly torn 10 rupee notes are voodoo in the market.

Days, weeks and months passed by and still to this day, no person in entire Pune, and a few places in Mumbai, would accept the note. It seemed that people would prefer to take a torn condom over a torn 10 rupee note! That would explain the population for starters. Maybe the problem was me and not the note. Maybe my face somehow automatically put people off from accepting the note. So I asked a friend to help me out with the incentive of keeping whatever he bought with the note. He couldn’t do it either. Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, a street beggar refused to take the note. Are you fucking kidding me? How can you say no to free money when you have so little?

The attitude of preferring a torn condom over a torn 10 rupee note would also explain the appalling state of the Indian economy. Maybe the country is full of torn notes and nobody is able to actually use the money. Maybe the country actually has 2 billion people instead of the calculated 1.2 billion. How does the census work anyway? What crazy person would send people to count people in every home, and then count the overall number? It seems more like counting stars. Astronomers say there are 400 billion stars in the Milky Way. That would be one fucked up job to have. 9 AM. Take a chair, some coffee, get your telescope ready. Alright, 1...2...3...4…5...6… some days later… fuck this shit, 400 billion stars. If you don’t believe me, here, count them yourself. The same thing probably happened with the census. 1.2 billion people! And then China sent some spies in the census team and released its numbers, 1.3 billion. In a way its good they are winning. If we take the lead and piss of the Chinese, we can expect a couple nuclear bombs at least.

China, with their 1.3 billion people has built a force. It is an empire. India, on the other hand, will be a superpower in the next 25 years. I’ve been hearing this for the past 10 years. India is THE nation of the future. Still I haven’t witnessed a single progressive economic aspect or structural growth which hasn’t involved corruption. It is not that surprising. With so many fake ‘babas’ and ‘godsmen’ in the country scamming people for predicting the future, who is to say that the predictions of “learned” economist will hold any truth? The babas only fool a couple thousand at a time, but these economists are playing with all the Indians. Playing with every single one of the 2.287 billion people the country holds. You don’t believe me? You can count the number of people if you want.  

With so much corruption, foreign investors are staying away from India. Indian economy is looking like a torn 10 rupee note. Maybe things would be different if the ‘Chaiwala’ had just gratefully accepted the note. If you can use the torn note, or know someone who will, I will be extremely happy to give it to you.

No comments:

Post a Comment